That Which Could Never Be
by ashehole
Summary: We know what Catty was thinking as she struggled to decide whether to destroy the Secret Scroll, but what was Chris thinking as he stood there, his life literally in the Heir's hands? Set during The Prophecy.


**AN: Woo! My first oneshot of the new year! Cheer, people! Let's hope that 2009 will a be a great year for the DotM fandom! ;D For all of you who have read Eclipse (From the Twilight series) before and can recognize the scene I used from it, you get a special prize! I have no clue what, but you'll get one. :D Oh. And the italic dialogue is taken directly from the book.**

**Disclaimer: New year, still don't own. But I lurve Chris. I wish that I owned him!!! XD**

**Summary: We know what Catty was thinking as she struggled to decide whether to destroy the Secret Scroll, but what was Chris thinking as he stood there, his life literally in the Heir's hands? Set during The Prophecy.**

"_If you destroy the Scroll,"_ Adamantis began to say, _"you'll destroy the Keeper as well."_

Catty spun quickly towards me, her beautiful eyes wide with disbelief and indecision. _"Is that true?"_

I nodded sadly at her, trying to convey to her that it would be okay. _"My life is bound to it."_

She continued to stare at me, and I could tell how torn she was over her duty... and her love. Adamantis remained a dark background with Catty as a white light in my entire view. Her body was shaking, and I prayed she would make the right choice. Even confused, scared, unsure of what to do, she was beautiful. I wished that I knew how to relieve her of this pain, but I couldn't. She had to decide.

"_Free me,"_ I told her, pushing her to destroy the Scroll.

Her head shook, dark tresses flowing softly at the smooth turns of her head. _"I don't think that I can do that."_

"_You must do it,"_ I whispered in return. I watched as she bit on her lip, battling herself.

I kept my breathing regulated as I was taught so long ago, but my heart seemed to pound just a bit harder when Adamantis continued spewing his lies to Catty. My eyes stayed on her as she exchanged words in return with her father, pulling her amulet off.

"_No. I need it to destroy the Scroll." _

My heart pounded at her words. She was going to do the right thing. She was going to put her feelings aside and realize what she needed to do for the greater good. I wanted her to keep ignoring Adamantis, I wanted her to do what needed to be done.

I closed my eyes, remaining calm, though I feared what she would do if her father's silver tongue discouraged her to the point that she refused to destroy the Scroll and, by severe consequence, me. I remembered my old Spartan training, ancient memories that sprung up on me without thought. I didn't want Catty to see how afraid I was.

Beneath my lids, my ears intent on hearing the conversation between good and evil, I saw something that could never be. Not for me and Catty, it couldn't.

If we had been different people...

If I wasn't the Keeper and she the Heir... Old warrior and Daughter of the Moon...

I could see it, what our life could have been had we not been blessed—or cursed—with the mark of Selene. Graduation together, high school sweethearts as they call them. Catty had never mentioned college before, but plenty of those school counselors had talked to me about them over the years. Maybe I could have convinced her to go with me. She could have majored in art. I would probably choose history. She would drag me off to parties that I would feel uncomfortable at, but I would have a good time anyway. Only because she would be there, beautiful, lively. My other half.

A traditional wedding would be out of the question, for both Catty and her mother. They would demand something outrageous. She would be beautiful in some crazy outfit, her brown eyes large and sparkling, full of love as she stood next to me, vowing to be my partner in everything.

I refused to smile outwardly as I imagined the scene, but I was thrumming on the inside, my mind on lock down from anyone who could see my thoughts.

Two children, a boy and a girl, each gifted with a head of dark hair and dark eyes, the girl exactly like her active mother, the boy a little more reserved, maybe told about the old ways of Sparta. I wasn't sure what kind of parent I would make. From what I tend to remember about my parents from time to time is that my father was a soldier as any Spartan man is, and my mother was like any Spartan woman... Times were different in the modern era. You didn't raise children to be soldiers and mothers anymore, but to be equals. Catty would be an amazing mother, like my own, but not. She would be nurturing and would help our childrens' ideas flourish into something beautiful.

We would grow old together. Grow normally. Age. See our children grow.

We would die together.

It could never happen, though; it was something that could never be for us. I would die today, and she would live much longer than I. I hoped.

The life I imagined that could never be ended as quickly as it started, fading away in mere seconds that I wanted to last for an eternity.

I opened my eyes again, ready to face the present. Catty was staring at me, tears flooding her eyes with the decision she had finally resolved to make. My heart broke for her. I loved her, my beautiful goddess, my one, the mother of my children that would never be.

I tried to smile at her, but it came out too forced, my lips stretched thin across my face. I understood everything. _"Quickly. It has to be done."_ My voice was soft, a mere whisper that I could not make louder, unless I wanted to begin crying myself and scare her off from destroying the thing that needed to end.

I didn't want her to think that I was afraid to die. A Spartan does not fear death, especially a death for a worthy cause.

"_I can't."_

"_Do it, Catty. Please don't make me suffer more. I need peace."_

Peace of death. I needed freedom.

Freedom from the life I wanted with her alone.

It wasn't death that I feared. It was not being able to have the one life that I wanted with her that made me cold.

_I love you, Catty... _I closed my eyes again, and I let the end take me.


End file.
